Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
