if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
