i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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