Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
