the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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