If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
