The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i out mim tonsoeep
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
