dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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