Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
