i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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