Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
