Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize