he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
