singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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