Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
