Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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