so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
