The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
