You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
