You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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