Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
