yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
