More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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