Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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