I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
