yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
