i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
