it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
