sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
