Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
