Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize