Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my poor anus
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
