i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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