There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
