HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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