dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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