I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
