mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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