everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
