if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
