My liver just broke up with me...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
