I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
