i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize