I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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