You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
