great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
