About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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