Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
