Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
