Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
