it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
