Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
