pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
