Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
