Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
