we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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