I accidentally had phone sex last night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize