I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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