At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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